Host Ira Glass hauls out Ye Olde Book of Christmas Stories, only to realize that everyone's favorite stories are — gasp — missing. Sounding the alarm, he sets off to save Christmas, the only way he knows how. (2 minutes)

Act One. Twas the Morning After.

A Christmas poem from David Rakoff, about holidays in The Big City. Rakoff's the author of, most recently, Don't Get Too Comfortable. (12 minutes)


Song: " Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," by Marah, our special musical guest. Their Christmas CD (which has all the songs on today's show except the song in Act Five) is called A Christmas Kind of Town.


Act Two. No Tenenbaum, No Tenenbaum.

This American Life receives an emergency transmission from a rooftop somewhere in New York City, where John Hodgman reports on the true-life origins of Christmas traditions. John Hodgman is the author of The Areas of My Expertise. (7 minutes)

Act Three. My So-Called Jesus.

Heather O'Neill reflects on what it would mean to be the savior of all mankind, but still in middle school. Heather's the author of Two Eyes Are You Sleeping? and the upcoming Lullabies for Little Criminals. (13 minutes)


Song: " Silver Bells," Marah


Act Four. An Animal Farm Christmas.

The great Christmas classics are all like fables. David Sedaris contributes his own, about barnyard animals who decide to play "Secret Santa." David is the author of many books, including a collection of Christmas stories, Holidays on Ice. (7 minutes)

Act Five. Christmas at Valley Forge.

A brand new Christmas carol gets its world premiere: a song about both Christmas and American history. With lyrics by Sarah Vowell. Music written and performed by Marah. Sarah's the author of two books of historical essays, most recently Assassination Vacation. (3 minutes)

Act Six. What Would Joseph Do?

Jonathan Goldstein retells the classic Christmas story, trying to understand what exactly goes through the mind of a man about to become surrogate father to The Lord. (8 minutes)

Song: "Baby It's Cold Outside and Auld Lang Syne," Marah


Act Six. What Would Joseph Do?

Jonathan Goldstein retells the classic Christmas story, trying to understand what exactly goes through the mind of a man about to become surrogate father to The Lord. (8 minutes)

Song: " Baby It's Cold Outside and Auld Lang Syne," Marah